3cbx:

instagram mua: shows a perfectly normal makeup tool

me: bitch dont do it

instagram mua: frowns, waves finger and throws it away

me:

(via chichikk)

221cbakerstreet:

latinkilledtheromans:

So there was a single, solitary kiwi on our counter in the kitchen.

And I decided to make fun of my roommate for it, because who buys one, single, solitary kiwi? So I asked her that.

Roommate: I didn’t buy a kiwi.

Me: This isn’t your kiwi?

Roommate: No?

Me: But this isn’t my kiwi.

Roommate: That kiwi was there when I got home.

Me: I don’t even eat kiwi!

As you can see, it’s a real kiwi. Here it is, on my counter, giving away nothing.

But I was still confused as to where it came from. Did one of us accidentally buy a kiwi at the store? 

So I looked up the Kiwiny company to figure out which stores it’s sold at, to see which one of us might have bought it, since we tend to use different grocery stores.

Kiwiny doesn’t have American retailers.

There is literally no reason for this kiwi to be in my kitchen.

It came all the way from Italy and this is how you welcome it

(via confirmance)

mexicanheaux:

poisonjabs:

When your fave character dies and you refuse to accept it

Cookie died and coconut head fucking murdered him

(via thatsmoderatelyraven)

misshepard:

all these eurovision contestants who have their face plastered everywhere as the stage graphics:

(via socialpterodactyl)

brainstatic:

Dear Diary,

I started going on tumblr again after several days with little activity. There is a frog on a unicycle now. He is not the smiling frog or the frog sipping tea. He is a new frog. Every day is a new gift.

(via swagarolli)